its my new favorite website. I must share. Read em all, its worth it.

-Today, I overheard a girl asking her friend how to spell 'orange'. Her friend told her, after which she sighed impatiently and said "I know that! I meant the colour, not the fruit". I laughed. MLIA
-Today, I discovered the vending machine at my school was loaded incorrectly, so instead of dropping a pack of gum into the chute, the spring coils behind it and then shoots it at full speed into the glass, making a loud snapping noise. I now have 4 packs of gum, and have spent half an hour watching people jump as their gum goes flying into the glass. Afternoon well spent? I think so. MLIA
-Today, in my health class the poster about hopes & dreams fell on the floor. The teacher stepped on it right as it fell. MLIA
-Today, at work (JC Penny) I asked an elderly lady "Are you finding everything alright?" And her response was, "Well, I'm looking for a larger purse for my concealed weapon." MLIA
-Today, I was helping this a 7 year old kid fill in a worksheet on similies. Amongst them were stuff like "as fierce as a lion" and "as pretty as a flower". He had to complete the sentence "My teacher is ________." His answer? "As easy as ABC". I almost died laughing. MLIA.
-Today, I left a load of laundry in a machine in my Uni Campus as I had forgotten the change. When I returned, less than 5 mins later, I found the machine had been paid for, and set off with a Post-it note "You have been ninja'd. Washing style". Thankyou, mysterious washing-machine ninja. MLIA
-Today, while my sister was sweeping the floors she told my mom how it would be a great idea to make a wet broom to collect all the dirty and to clean at the same time. My mom replied with yeah, and we can call it a mop. MLIA
-Today, my best friend asked the teacher what Obama's last name is. She was completely serious. MLIA
-Today, I was at work in an ice cream store. A woman of about 20 came in and ordered a Strawberry Milkshake. A few minutes after she had left the store, she came back in and very angrily demanded a new shake. I asked what was wrong with the first one I made. She told me that she was getting a rash because the first one contained something she was allergic to. I asked her what she was allergic to and she responded "milk". I then had to spend 5 minutes explaining that all of our milkshakes contain milk products. Peoples' stupidity never fails to amuse me. MLIA
-Today, I was complaining to my friend on campus about how there weren't many interesting dating possibilities. Just then, a girl carrying a giant jar of pickles walked by. I will find this girl, and marry her. MLIA.
-Today, I went to Best Buy. As I was waiting in line, the guy in front of me went to buy a $20 gift card with 5 plastic bags full of pennies. After an argument with the cashier, the manager came to the register and told the cashier that he could not turn down a paying customer and forced the cashier to count every penny. I have a new favorite Best Buy. MLIA
-Today, I had a choir performance. Girls are required to wear skin-tone pantyhose under their dresses. As I was on my way out the door, my mom yelled "DON'T FORGET THE NUDE HOES!" I'm really curious as to what the neighbors think goes on at my house. MLIA
-Today I saw a man littering. Annoyed that a garbage can was literally 3 inches away I mentally punched him in the leg. All of the sudden he grabbed his leg screaming in pain. I guess didn't know my own mental strength. MLIA
-Yesterday, my dad picked me up from school in his work car, which is a black van. I've always said he looks like a child molester when he drives it. So when he picked me up in front of the school he said 'Hey girlie, you want some candy?' I said sure and my older brother slid the door open and I got in. The looks on people faces? Were nothing but priceless. And the best part, he actually had candy. MLIA

And ill post more in the comments section, i guarantee.
Screw homework!